Flashes of eyelashes

I open my eyes and it is early and dark outside. It is the middle of the week, which is better than the beginning, but there is no delicious feeling that it is Friday or Saturday. I think of the day ahead of me, and all that there is to do and all of the places that I have to go. I cuddle next to Ian, and drink in our togetherness: warm and sleepy and nestled together like bears, in our cave. I entertain the idea of getting up early, but I decide instead to go to my cub's den and retrieve my baby bear. I creep in her room in my nightgown, with the stillness of our house surrounding me. Her bottom is up in the air, with her arms tucked beneath her, just as she always sleeps. My heart sinks that maybe she is not awake. But alas! I peek over her crib, and she rolls over to look at me with her big blue baby bear eyes. We make no sounds as I scoop her up gently. I slide her into bed with us, all of the bears together now, safe in our cocoon.

We lay cuddled together, and I stroke her face and stare into sparkling eyes. Eyes that are my own looking back at me: big eyes, surrounded by her daddy's thick lashes. It strikes me how rarely we lay still together with all of the routine of daily life, and I soak up the moment and store it deep into my mommy memory.  She coos and speaks her baby talk, and we laugh and play games. I point to her nose and eyes and ears. I rub her chubby cheeks and admire her newly minted baby teeth. I run her curls through my hands and wonder what she thinks in this moment.  I think that she knows that her mother loves her very much. And I wonder if she can literally feel the love I have for her, passing from my aura to hers. 

My gentle child strokes my arm in return. I don't know how or why God blessed me with this gentle, lovable sweet child. She is truly a dream. I don't deserve such an easy, wonderful effortless child. I hear stories of other people's children, and I can't even wrap my head around how difficult they sound. We don't have any of that. Will it come one day? I don't know.

In a flash, she will be grown. Gone. She will be too big to lay on a cold, early morning with her mother, wrapped in blankets. But today, we have this moment, together. I mentally capture her beautiful face and eyelashes and wish we could stay in this moment forever, my sweet baby girl and I.

♥ V :)