Notes from Planning a Wedding

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"Are we getting each other wedding day presents?"

"I dunno, I think that is for people who didn't spend the night before their wedding in the same room, and they're like, not seeing each other until they take their vows."

"Oh. Well, you know, it's the thought that counts, anyway. I was thinking about getting you a set of pearls from the Shane Co."

"Huh. I was thinking about getting you an inscribed Colts mug that says 'Mr. Awesome.'"

"Wow! That was easy. If it's the thought that counts, then I'm glad we were thinking those things."

"You know we aren't getting those things right?"

"Yeah, I know."

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In preparation for my upcoming nuptials, I scheduled a consultation for some light cosmetic work, involving lasers. I was second guessing myself on the way to this appointment.

Until I had the pleasure of this little exchange.

While checking out with a bridal magazine at my trusty local CVS:

"So, you're getting married? When is the big date?"

"June 25th."

"Do you need a bartender?" (This same man has asked me this on at least three different occasions while checking out with bridal 'zines.)

"Nope, we've got it covered. Thanks for offering."

"So, is this your first marriage?"

(Really?)

"Yes. Yes, it is."

Um, I put the petal to the metal on the way to that appointment.

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Things we have learned while trying to obtain birth certificates and passports for our honeymoon after our home burning to the ground and losing all identifying documents:

1. You can't actually get a passport after 3 pm, in the city of Westfield. Because at that point in the day, a line could form. (Ian found this out during a very "Meet the Parents" moment i.e. Ben Stiller trying to board his plane. There was in fact, no line, at the time while Ian tried to make said purchase.)

2. You may not apply for a passport with a copy of a birth certificate.

3. There must be space left between your head and the border of the photo used to obtain the passport. That's what I get for wearing this big backcombed mess of hair all over town I suppose. Doh.

4. The city of Indianapolis, the state's capital, no longer allows you to apply for a birth certificate in person. You must go online. The actual office is within walking distance of my work, but you must go online.

5. If you order a birth certificate in the mail, it will take three to four weeks to deliver by snail mail. I somehow did not notice this fine print upon placing this order.

6. I don't have three to four weeks. Upon placing my second order, and paying another $22, and blowing up my drivers license by 200% and lightening it by 2 levels, and uploading the documents, I better get that freagin' thing like, STAT!!!!!! Because at that point, I still have to apply for the passport.

*Sigh.*

Jamaica had better be worth it 'mon.

♥ V :)

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