Notes from Committed

So I'm reading my way through Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed" which I mentioned a while back, the follow up to Eat, Pray, Love.  Actually, reading is not actually appropriate; I'm devouring it.  Mentally highlighting!  Sneaking time away while Lauren naps to read!  This is a study of marriage from a truly modern, educated woman, but also a woman you think you would like to have coffee with because she is just, fun.

Obviously, the reason I am so interested in this book in addition to already knowing that I love her writing is that because, let's be honest, we have a bunch of kids under our roof and there's no ring on my hand.  Which I'm sure, does not go unnoticed.  This raises many questions, as it should.  Marriage is serious. Raising kids is serious. Which is why I have and always will, take my decision to marry very seriously.  There's no running off to Vegas for me any time soon. 

With that said, I'm drinking in this book whole.  The most notable parts of the book to me so far I have listed below.

On infatuation at the beginning of a relationship:

"Infatuation leads to what psychologists call 'intrusive thinking' - that famously distracted state in which you cannot concentrate on anything other than the object of your obsession.  Once infatuation strikes, all else - jobs, relationships, responsibilities, food, sleep, work - falls by the wayside..Nowhere is the drug stronger than at the very beginning of a passionate relationship.  An awful lot of babies are conceived during the first six months of a love story.  Hypnotic obsession can lead to a sense of euphoric abandon, and euphoric abandon is the very best way to find yourself accidentally pregnant.  Some anthropologists argue, in fact, that the human species needs infatuation as a reproductive tool in order to keep us reckless enough to risk the hazards of pregnancy so that we can constantly replenish our ranks."

Well, gee. Hmm.  Yes, CHECK, I would say that I am a prime example of this. Moving on.

Anyway, basically this book is a cultural study of marriage across all continents, religions, time periods through history, cultures, etc.  As in, why and how does marriage come about for people, how did they make the decision, and what are the repercussions.

One thing I find interesting is the "Marriage Benefit Imbalance."  Or in other words, "Marriage benefits men a whole lot more than it does women."  Study after study shows that married men live longer, accumulate more weatlth, excel at their careers more, report themselves to be much happier and suffer less from depression than single men.  Um, not so much for women.  Married women do not live longer than single women, do not accumulate as much wealth as a single woman, do not thrive in their careers to the extent single women do, are significantly less healthy than single women, and are more likely to suffer from depression than single women.

Obviously, this isn't to say that marriage is a bad thing or won't continue to always happen and be necessary - these are just the cold hard facts.  But we are learning somewhat from these things and things are getting better.  As women become more autonomous, the effect diminishes.  These are the factors that narrow the inequality the most: the more education a married woman has, the more money she earns, the later in life she marries, the fewer children she bears, and the more help her husband offers with household chores, the better her quality of life in marriage will be.

Very interesting, to say the least.

♥ V :)

Spring Shopping

Well, I really did it this time. Year end close is done after *TODAY!* so I headed over to the mall at lunch, since I can begin the luxury of taking a lunch again. I had no plans of going to the Limited. Ian, stop reading...I had a super helpful sales assistant who started picking out outfits for me. Usually, that would annoy me but she was actually really cheerful and helpful. All of the spring colors were intoxicating. Turquoise! Pink! Lime green! Peach! Like yummy sorbets and cotton candy before me, just asking me to snatch up and eat. I missed a couple of seasons by having baby Lauren, stuck in empire waisted maternity clothes. And I got my W-2 today, so I was feeling rich with the promise of free money. I put on the first pair of jeans and knew I was in trouble. Damn. Simon employees get 20% off all purchases, and I got another 15% on top of that. I walked out with a candy-colored bag of spring clothes! :) yeah me!




♥ V :)

Night owl

Ian and I made an astonishing discovery last night. Our baby is a genius after midnight.


I went in to check on Lauren one last time before heading to bed around 11:30 or so. I like to put her blanket back on her one last time before I go to bed, and of course I like to stare at her while she is sleeping, because that's what's parents do - it's one of the perks of parenthood - staring at your children in their most perfect, angelic state. I walked in her room - and my baby was not sleeping. She was chilling with Violet, her talking puppy, and most definitely not sleeping, as she should be doing at that hour. I decided to make the commitment to get her up - because it is a commitment at that hour - she isn't going to just calmly go back to bed like magic now - and took her downstairs for some extra play time.

You might think that she would be sleepy and groggy and grouchy. But not so! She is a Hancock/Cantwell breed, and we are night people. People of the night, who come alive at the witching hour! Our baby is no different. She proceeded to come alive, girgling and playing and generally showing off as she knew she had our undivided attention - no dinner to cook, mail to sort or laundry to fold.

And I am not joking - she proceeded to use and play with every single one of her toys perfectly. What does this mean? It means that instead of playing with a sock on the ground, she actually interacted and worked her big girl toys! She methodically went to each one. I won't go into great detail, but it was fascinating to say the least. She even pulled herself up to the ottoman for good measure. I think she sensed she better do some pretty spectacular feats or her baby bottom was going straight back to bed.

One of the more taboo topics of parenthood is constantly analyzing your child for skills and talents and just generally wondering, and fearing, if they need to wear a helmet. For now, Ian and I are off watch!

Royal treatment

We are half way through the year end close process at work. Hooray! The ledger locked last night! I celebrated with a massage at the Villa Day Spa downtown after leaving the office late. Let me tell you, I feel like a new person today! Beforehand, I was exhausted and stressed and tense and, did I say exhausted. I upgraded for $5 for the essential oil add-on. It was well worth the $5 for the lavendar scent! I slept like a baby, and I woke up before my alarm today, totally rested. I have not felt this good since I can't remember when. I did an hours worth of hoursework and took a long shower before work today, which, never happens. There is still much more work to do - but I feel refreshed and ready to tackle it.

When I work longer hours, Ian gets stuck with a lot more work. A lot. He picks up AND drops off Lauren. He feeds Lauren her dinner if I can't get there in time. Last night he took all three girls out for a daddy/daughter dinner. Tuesday night he cooked me some glorious concoction of meat with a fancy sauce that was literally, HEAVEN. He is so amazing at picking up the slack and helping me keep my sanity! Thank you, I love you so much! ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy New Year!

Here are some pics from the New Year's party at Amanda and Ryan's house. We had an authentic New Orleans's shrimp boil. It was a great night!! It is starting to sink in that they are moving...can't believe it!

♥ V :)

Friday Favorites

Here is a random assortment of things I ♥ right this moment!

• My OneADay Energy vitamins They support "physical and mental energy." Yes, I need lots of support in this area, please. Basically, it's a cross between a green tea diet pill and a multi vitamin.

• Philosophy Turbo Booster C Powder - I am already a cult follower of the Philosophy facial care line, but this is a new addition to my aresenal. It is very apothecary like - I scoop a little of the powder into my moisturizer day and night. It got great reviews and I have high hopes it will fade some of my spots.

• Elizabeth Gilbert's new book "Committed," the follow up to "Eat, Pray, Love." Ok, I read her first book twice. I think I even highlighted. And I am VERY excited to dig into this treasure that I picked up at Borders today (it was 40% off). I have been waiting on this book to come out since last year.

• Kris Allen's new self-titled album - Yes I still buy CD's. First of all, I ♥ Kris Allen. How do you not love him?! This CD is very "uplifting rock." Like, if you combined a fun rock concert and an uplifting church rock band.

• Last but not least, my Ice Breakers Ice cubes gum in watermellon/kiwi. These little pink and green gums are in the shape of a cube! I like to chew 3 at a time and blow bubbles. :)

TGIF! :) ~V

Baby love

Lauren has been having a little bit of trouble sleeping. We think she is teething. I mean, as parents to these little people we really have no idea because they can't talk. It's a horrible feeling - I mean, her ears could be hurting. Her throat. WHO KNOWS what could be wrong, but we're calling it teething...because she doesn't have any and that makes sense to us and helps us sleep at night.

Monday night, she was racked with fever at midnight. We took off her sleeper, gave her baby tylenol and she laid next to me, in her little diaper, shivering and shaking. She looked like a helpless baby bird, and she clung to me for hours that way. Literally hours, and I rubbed her back and her head and she sucked her thumb. Last night, she was coughing in the night, and Ian put her back in bed with us again. I secretly love it. We laid in the dark, mommy, daddy and baby. She looked up at me with her dark little baby owl eyes. Stared right up at me, sucking her thumb, and I was thankful for the chance to love her a little more for the day. Racing home in the snow, down Meridian with the twinkly lights and bumper to bumper traffic, I can't get to her fast enough. There is no stopping - just a straight path from downtown to my home, my family, my safe place and my baby. As she looked up at me next to me, I thought - hi baby, I don't know if you got enough love from me today, so here is a little more. And then she rubbed my arm back. Every time she does it, I find it shocking and fills me right up to the brim with love - she rubs my arm back in the middle of the night. We can't communicate with words yet, but at moments like this, there is literally no need for words. I know she feels my love, safe in our nest, and I know she loves me back, my beautiful little baby bird.

January

Let me first say that I had an amazing New Year's eve this year! Some years, not so much - but this year was spectacular. Ian and I attended a wonderful Mardi Gras themed party at Ryan and Amanda's house in Pendleton. It was also Ryan's going away party, since he leaves for the big easy this weekend to start his new job. We wore colorful Mardi Gras masks and beads, and I have many glorious pictures to post!

Once our sparkly New Year's outfits were hung in the closet, and we had toasted the last glass of champagne, and kissed at the stroke of midnight, we had no choice other than to start the month of January. It seems to me that we work our way all year up to the month of December - it is the best month of the year. We eat, party and play all month! And then we start over again in January, with no parties, and only diets and overtime.

As an accountant, I face busy season each year. The day before it started this year, I cleaned my house for a solid day. I had a date with a bottle of bleach, my sponge and my mop. I face the stress of knowing I have busy season by obsessively cleaning and organizing my house. The hall closet got attacked. And did you know all of the ways that you can clean with a bottle of bleach? Nothing was out of my reach - toilets, floors, showers, sinks! I lit a lemon candle, put a vase of roses in the kitchen, and tried to think happy thoughts, with a clean house. For that one day, everything was under control.

However, it never fails - back to work, Lauren's sick with a fever, we're up all night, driving to work in 3 inches of snow, Audrey misses the bus, I lose my cell phone...the list goes on and on. Oh, January. You miserable friend, I can't wait until you are gone for another year.

♥ V :)