A day in this life

Typical day, at this particular time in my life.

Alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze, many, many more times, so many, it is just plain embarrassing. Contemplate washing my hair, and decide against it. Perform miracle on day 3 hair which involves powders, sprays, combs and a striking amount of backcombing and a headband. Throw clothes in gym bag as I did not shower, and will shower at the gym at work on my lunch. Start up the keurig for a perfectly brewed cup of coffee that takes approximately 20 seconds (this is a highlight.) Commence commute to the downtown area, in complete silence, as Ian's truck has no radio, and my car of course needs to go to shop as I broke it. Perform complicated task of putting on full face of makeup in a moving vehicle at  many stoplights; attempt to not poke out eyes while drawing on eyeliner.

Arrive at destination one hour and 15 minutes later, after leaving earlier than usual for work. Apparently other people are also leaving earlier for work, making us all in fact, later than if I had left, later. Wind through elaborate labyrinth of parking garage stairs, elevators, crosswalks to reach building in utter cold. Arrive and board elevator with Elevator People. Try to get to the 12th floor, which goes something like this:

*"How long will it take [Vanessa] to get to her desk if she and the two men get on the elevator on the first floor, she pushes 12, the next man pushes 7, and the other man pushes 9, but on the second floor, a new man gets on and pushes 4, on the third floor, a lady gets on and pushes 5, on the fourth floor, the second-floor man gets out, on the fifth floor, the third-lady gets out but another one gets on and pushes 6, on the sixth floor, the fifth-floor lady gets out but another one wants on and hasn't decided where to meet her sixth-floor friend for lunch so she blocks the elevator door with her foot...until the door wants to close so badly it threatens to slice her little shoe right off her foot..." and so on and so on.  Arrive at 12th floor!

Hooray, after all that, I get to start my work day!

Start up a portfolio review meeting with shiny, happy leasing reps staring at me, involving video and audio for a shocking amount of satellite offices. Pray that complicated apparatuses are all working!! Continue through meeting, ensuring that a massive amount of people, all over the country, who could be traveling at any given time, present at their specific time. Call, email, call again said people. Constantly. For.eight. hours.  Tenant requests sparkling water. Commence emails for others assisting to hunt down sparkling water. $15 dollars and two bottles later, man has his water. Keep carrying on.

Meeting is over.  Start obsessing about wedding details.  Stare at many scattered lists laying around cubicle. Ponder things such as, how long will it take to hand make my own seating chart? Is this a worthwhile task? What first song should Ian and I dance to? Will I have a good hair day on my wedding day? Will the white chairs clash with the cream flowers? Will I care about any of this on my wedding day? Oh yeah...and... my house burnt down. What will we sit on when we move into our new house? We will not own chairs. Must definitely buy some chairs.  And glasses to drink out of. And...lots of other...things. Yes, start buying these things immediately.

Nine hours have passed. Start commute home, again navigating passage of elevators, stairs, crosswalks and creepy parking garage, still in utter cold. Think how I have lost three pairs of gloves in two months. Think, where did those gloves go exactly?

Arrive home to adorable toddler and family. Begin elaborate night time ritual with two year old daughter, where I fit in an entire day's worth of affection, play and attention into a span of approximately one to two hours. Try not to pass out during this time.  Accomplish amazing feat of feeding, playing, bathing, reading and tucking in.

Ritual has played itself out. Commence similar routine with significant other, fitting in entire days worth of affection, conversation and attention in one to two hours. Rapidly consume alcoholic beverage of choice during this time.

Drag my rag doll body up stairs. Flounce into bed, after washing face and applying creams and potions so I wake up rested and youthful looking, not hag-like. Read inspiring books, magazines and all varieties of literature, inspring me to get up tomorrow and do this whole thing all over again.

Yeah, so like, I give....can I um, retire yet??

♥ V :)

*This passage was adapted from recent read, "I Love Everbody, (and other Atrocious Lies) by Laurie Notaro. Read it. It is funny. You will laugh your socks off.