Secrets and a Snake

Ok, Sara, you have inspired me with your confessions. Deep dark confessions are the BEST to read!

I promised myself when I started this blog that I would try to be real, that I would not become one of those candy-coated mommy bloggers that brags about her kids.  Because it's not easy, and it's hard and I have doubts every day about whether or not I'm doing a good enough job. I have doubts at my work; I have doubts about Ian and I. Sometimes it feels like I want to run away and "drop my basket" like Vivi did in the Yaya's. I TRY to keep perspective, and I TRY to see the light side of things, but I do have my dark moments, and lately I've been having a lot of them. I want them to go away, but I realize that they may never really go away...that I just have to work through them and that hopefully on the other side of these doubts, I will find all of those cotton candy rainbows that you envision when you are growing up.

So here they are...my true confessions:

1.) I worry that I chose the totally wrong career. I'm trying to fix this but I often think SELF, why did you check that little box next to accounting? Oh self, why would you do such a thing. (I also confess that one day I may snap and yell at all of the people that talk to me at work to LEAVE ME ALONE. I do not want to hear your stories. I don't care what happened in traffic this morning. I just simply don't give a damn.)
2.) I worry that I don't spend enough time with Lauren. Why doesn't she cry when I leave...is it because she is so used to me leaving that it is normal to her?
3.) Why do I suck so bad at monogamy? Not in being monogamous, but in WANTING to be?  Why do I fantasize about running away to a little village by the sea and never returning, and leaving all of my responsibilities at home. Did I not get the gene?
4.) I miss my friends so much. I miss having friends that I get to see all the time. I miss drinking martini's and wearing bright green eye shadow if I want to, with blue mascara and long dangly earrings. I miss having reasons to wear those things in the first place. You don't get to wear bright green eye shadow when you're a mom.
5.) I worry I'll be eternally young at heart forever.

I really need to shake this funk. 

P.S. I thought I was having a bad week until this morning. My mom told me that my sister found a snake in her closet.  Yep, she needs to move. That house ain't no good anymore. It just won't do.

Here's to hoping that we don't let our secrets or the snakes get the best of us.

♥ V :)