Kelly Cutrone

"Not even the slickest wordsmith or spinning spin master can describe the delight and dedication which is motherhood. This is a secret society which words cannot touch, but the heart holds dear."
-Kelly Cutrone

I just finished my most recent read, Kelly Cutrone's new novel, "If You Have to Cry, Go Outside...and Other Things Your Mother Never Told You."  I was first introduced to Kelly Cutrone on "The Hills" as the owner of People's Revolution, the PR firm which employed (I use the term lightly) Lauren Conrad, the young star fresh off of Laguna Beach.  I ♥ the Hills. I am not afraid to say it, and I have been a cult follower for years. Kelly Cutrone was the figure dressed in all black in the back, running the show, barking orders, and quite obviously NOT wearing any makeup.  Working next to a 22 year old starlet living the LA lifestyle from a privileged family, let's just say that when the camera cut to a shot of her, it could only be described as terrifying.

Recently, she has been given her own show on Bravo, "Kell on Earth." Again, the same picture is painted: scary lady, living the fast paced fashion life in NYC.  I really did not have ANY interest in learning more about this woman, until she was featured on a blog I follow daily, "Storked!" which is written by a young author who is a single mother in NYC. Come to find out, Kelly Cutrone is also a single mother, and she has a beautiful young daughter named Ava.  This witch is a mother? I had to know more.

I was not disappointed and I'm delighted I decided to learn more: I read her book in 3 days. I read it on the treadmill at lunch, at night before bed, and at the waiting room at my doctor.  She is beyond fascinating: hilarious, sharp, cunning, ambitious, brilliant in her world.  Granted, her world and mine are worlds apart, but a mother to another mother always seems to cut through any time and place, and this example is no different.

My favorite chapter hands down, is her chapter describing her daughter's birth, raising her, and her views on child rearing. Some highlights:

"For women, life is set up like a video game. It starts out in childhood with the Disney princesses, followed by the need to become the prettiest girl, the pop star, or the the model, and then, in high school, we're told that it's time to become the thinnest girl, then to become successful, find a guy, convince him to move in with us, get married, have a baby, and live happily ever after! We're constantly moving from level to level, trying to collect the promised prizes, without stopping to think about the order we want these things to come in, or whether we even really want them at all."

On maternity clothes: "Pea in the Pod made me want to kill myself. What were these fabrics? Floral prints? I was sure I'd rather clean toilets than be seen in them."

"I remember reading What to Expect When You're Expecting. Who has time to make buckwheat pancakes? Are you joking? I thought, as I read the meal plan." (I totally agree! That book is for maniacs with too much time on their hands. I banished it early into my pregnancy.)

"It's as if, during labor, Mother Nature implants a computer chip in your brain that makes you want to love this person you don't even know, so that after three days of nonstop breastfeeding, when you leave the baby with your mom...there's suddenly this voice in your head shrieking,'You need to go back to the baby right now!' And yet you look at your child and you just know from the beginning that she's going to break your heart."

"People think their twenties are this really great time because that's when they're hot, but the truth is that we don't even become women, I believe, until we're thirty. You've probably already done everything embarrassing in your twenties, from drugs and binge-drinking to paranoid stalker girlfriend behaviors."

"...motherhood is a choice, not an obligation. In my life it has been a teaching, a tangible promise of progress, and a chance to experience totally unfaltering love. I had a baby because I have a lot to give and a lot to learn, not because my husband wanted one or because my parents wanted me to have one or because I viewed motherhood, then or now, as in any way essential to the experience of being female.  In other words, not because it was the thing that came next."

I'm actually a little terrified how much I identify with this woman after reading her book. Because if you have ever seen or heard her, just WOW. But she literally left her heart on the pages of her book for all to see.  I love, love, love her references to the "wolf pack" and how she calls her self "mama wolf" and says of her daughter, "We still sleep in the same bed, like wolves."   I slept with Lauren for four months, nursing her around the clock. I felt like a mama wolf during those night hours, like I was in the wild, protecting her from harm's way. When you are going on no sleep and are half delirious, I really doubt there is much that does separate us from the animal world at that point.  Another reason I heart Cutrone: she hates Disney. I wouldn't say that I hate it, because I'm sure I will be taking Lauren to the bobbity bippity salon to get glitterized in her princess dress like all of the other families do. But I do agree with Cutrone that even if you have to adopt the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude, they are sending our daughters an old and out dated message: "...every woman is damaged until some guy shows up and makes everything okay. Every one of those stories involves a guy making a woman's life magical."  I don't know about you: I'm making my life work, but magical? Hmm. Not so much. I don't see a lot in the way of white horses and princes during my days, and I don't know anyone else that does either.

She's a warrior, a mover and a shaker, and incredibly successful. You should never judge a book by it's cover, as I and many others did of Cutrone. When it all comes down to it, she's reading her daughter Fancy Nancy books at the end of the day, just like the rest of us. She may be a warrior, but she's a little bit warrior princess, too.

♥ V :)