Happy 30th to me!

My thirtieth birthday came and went this past weekend, on Easter day. It was gorgeous outside. We went to the amazing and uplifting Grace Easter service, and  I was surrounded on each side by the ones that I love. It was a beautiful way to start the new "year." I set a goal of starting the year (since it's a big one!) in church, rather than in a bar. I thought that perhaps it was time to stop celebrating by drowning myself in vodka, and rather by filling and surrounding myself with the Holy spirit, for good measure.

Thirty is a funny thing. The end of an era. An era, or decade, full of questions and dreams and hopes and hurt and struggle. At twenty, your entire life seems to be in front of you. The possibilities seem endless. Of course, you will be fabulous! Everything will work out perfectly and on schedule! By twenty five, I was beginning to question whether or not things were going to work out so perfectly. At that point, I had been dating for nine years. Seriously. Um, what is going on here? Where is my wedding ring and house and china and white fence?

Those next five years between twenty five and thirty were hard. Not just a little "tough"- really hard. Reeeeeaaaally hard. Did I mention they were challenging. Emotionally. Socially. Professionally. Physically (the pregnancy.)  Looking back, it was like I was a happy little butterfly in her cocoon, a happy little butterfly in high heels drinking martini's. What's that? I have to grow up? What's that, I have to give up my social life and care about other people beside myself and now I have a mortgage payment? Ripped from my safe cocoon, I grew my big girl butterfly wings. I can't even begin to imagine things I would do five years ago that I wouldn't do now. (There was on one occasion a time I went to work still drunk from the night before on a week day. Are. you. kidding. me!)

So without further ado, thirty found me and I could hide no longer. And I wouldn't change any of the twenties. Que Sara. No regrets. I realize for me personally, it's only the things that I didn't do that I seem to regret.

I've had hidden in the back of my mind for some time, "Must set goals. New goals. Thirty - this is big. SET GOALS." However, I've played by the rules my entire life. I've done what I'm supposed to do. I've checked the big things off of the list. College, check. Grad school, check. Support yourself, check. Find a man, check. Have a baby, check. So instead of goals, I have intentions. Intentions that I want to live by!

#1: By age 35, have started your life's true work.
#2: Take your "ASAP" and kiss my ass. Take your big, red bold letters and go fly a kite. Unless the roof is falling in, your emergency is no cause for me to jump through hoops.
#3: Slow down and take it all in. The world and your neighborhood is a big, beautiful place worth appreciating every single day.
#4: When in doubt, laugh. If martians came to our planet, they would laugh at our little cubicles and rituals. It's all bizarre - see the bizareness for what it is.
#5: "May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life."
#6: Strive for the kids' happiness and give them the best, but realize one day they will be gone and there will still be a lot of life left to live.

And when all else fails, we must, "Always try and maintain our grace, beauty and sparkle. Even as we get a little tattered."

~Rachel Ashwell

♥ V :)