My cup runneth over

At the end of a long day, I like nothing better than tucking myself into bed with a magazine or book to read. It's how I unwind after the monotonous list of chores for the day is done. Go to work. Commute home. Get Lauren down to bed. After all of those things are done, it's hard not to feel like a gerbil on a wheel. I sometimes think, that's it? That's all? Rinse, repeat and do over again tomorrow? The way I escape this feeling is by reading something, anything, to escape my every day life briefly before I have to get up and do it all over again the next day.

Oprah's 10th Anniversary issue just came out. I can make a good Oprah magazine last for a week or so. With this month's issue, every page is pretty much a literary gold mine. There's an interview with Oprah from her readers, where I read something so profound. Basically, she says that she wasn't born with two parents that love her, which made her feel that her cup was never full of love, and she has been trying to fill it ever since. She fills it with food and her show and she struggles out there in the world to fill it every day. She's envious of people that were born with their cup full from the start.

How profound is this? At the end of the day, even though Ian and I don't have a lot of extra money, I can rest very easy knowing that Lauren's cup of love is very full. Overflowing. Full to the brim. She is loved so much by us and those around her. Even Oprah, with one of the largest bank accounts in the world, still has to fight this struggle. Reminds me very much that the very best things in life are free. I often see some of my adult friends still struggling to fill their cup of love and it makes me sad. The stork dropped me off at a wonderful home. Some of my friends weren't so lucky. Their storks didn't always get it right.

As happy as it makes me feel to know that Lauren's cup of love is full, I have to say that it worries me for Ian's kids and as a stepmother. They've had a rocky road. They never lacked someone that loved them. What I"m worried about is how they perceive that love. Was it enough, in their eyes, to feel full with love? I don't want them out in this world trying to fill up their cups. Eleven is going to turn into 15 and then 20, and there are going to be lots of traps to fall in to along that road.

Being a step parent is so challenging. You can't undo the past, and you know you're going to be around for whatever is to come. I love Ian's beautiful children. And I know they love me. My cup runneth over.

♥ V :)